Cold Heart Reborn

[Arkile Sernagova]

Memories. What a pain they were to deal with. Arkile had passed out in the center because of them. She remembered too much at once. Even though she fainted, she remembered Amadeus' voice in her head. Telling her she didn't need to remember, that she just had to listen to his voice and think about what she already knew. Arkile did that and her memories from her previous life just slipped into her head, so much more easily than when she had been trying to make sense of them.

That would come once they were all settled. How long she was out for, she didn't know. When she awoke, however, at first she was confused as to where she was. Her old memories briefly lapsing her freshest ones. Then it registered that she was in the lycan caves on the Isle Nocturna. She sat up slowly, brushing blonde hair from her eyes which was plastered to her cheeks. She was sweating, probably from regaining memories. Her blue eyes scanned the room, but there was something different about these eyes. They weren't as bright and cheerful as before.

These eyes were icy cold and pale. They were no longer darkened by joy, but washed out by stress. Distanced from the world. They were hardened by many lies and many kills. Ones she made and ones others made before her. They were shallow, but with false bottoms for they truly held much more wisdom than Arkile cared to have. As they moved, they rested upon Amadeus' figure in the chair beside her bed. She raised an eyebrow and for a moment her eyes flickered back to their previous glory, but then it was gone. The thought that he was a lycan and she was not home surfaced in her mind.

Her first thought was returning to her people. Yet her body didn't move to get out of bed. Her eyes didn't stray from the handsome form of the man. She forced herself to slip out from under the covers and onto the floor. Amad was sleeping. She drew close to him and leaned down, gently and swiftly placing the lightest of kisses on his forehead. It was the last selfish thing she'd ever do. After that it would always be about her people and her people alone. She had to protect them. Only get close to those who would not harm her people, who would not try to seize power from her.

She had returned to the cold hearted vampiress she had been from the moment she saw her mother's dead form. The empty shell of a being which she had drifted through life as until her death.

Arkile walked to her closet and changed into the only dress she could find, a dark red gown - probably what she was buried in. She looked in the mirror and frowned at how short her hair was now and how curly. She straightened it the best she could and then, fed up, yanked it back into a tight braid like she always wore her hair before. She was prepared to leave, but instead she sank onto the edge of the bed, immediately readjusting her posture so she was sitting properly, like a queen should. She at least had to stay long enough to explain to Amad... maybe... longer... not much though.

She had to get back to her people. She had to take back her responsibilty. It was like... the moment she got her memory back, that was all she knew how to do. Be a queen. Protect her people. Sacrafice her own happiness for that of others. To continue the reigning legend that was her mother. She was not Arkile Marovich - though deep down she liked the ring of that, consciously she didn't realize it.

She was Arkile Sernagova.

[Amadeus Marovich]

It hadn't taken him long to bring her back to the island. He had spoken to her the entire time, hoping desperately to calm her raging throughts which seemed to be working for the moment at least. After lying her down on her own bed, he had collapsed on the chair near by and unintentionally fallen asleep. He was in one of those moods where he wasn't particularly tired but sleep seemed like the best alternative.

But many thoughts plagued him during his nap, especially the possibility that she had recovered her memories, and she would eventually leave. He had no choice. He couldn't do this again, this being going to fetch her every time she was in trouble, as though he cared for her more than anyone else in the clan. He shouldn't care for her more, and he didn't. No...he didn't. He couldn't. So he would force himself apart from her, no matter what it took. Ignoring her for a week, or even the rest of her stay there. She was the vampire Queen. How foolish he had been. Of course she would return to reign over her kingdom. But he only hoped that her appreciation for the clan's efforts to protect her would be rewarded with peace at least from her kingdom, and the keeping secret of their location and existance. He had worked so hard to keep the clan secret.

His eyes opened suddenly. He had felt something on his face...something gentle, but he couldn't quite determine what it had been. There was that familiar smell. She had woken up and moved. He shifted in the chair and watched her at the end of the bed. He was stricken by the sight of her in the dress. He hadn't seen her in that since...well, since he had seen her for the first time. She was leaving, definately that was it. He would have understood if she had left without a goodbye, in fact, that probably would have made it easier. He completely forgot about the promise he had made himself...to stay emotionally distant from her. How could he when it might be the last time he would ever see her again?

"So my little Arkile is a Queen. I've got to say, I'm impressed." he might have been impressed, but he sure didn't sound like it. His voice was very monotone and his expression a sad one. He noticed the strangeness in her position, and knew right away that she had remembered, how ever much it had been. "I just hope that you're happy" he said quite honestly. His own words were making him sick. He was encouraging her to leave, upholding the promise...or whatever it was...that he had made to Zeion before leaving. He wouldn't stop her. It was her choice, her life.

[Arkile Sernagova]

Arkile turned her head to look at Amadeus as he spoke. Her eyes were vacant and his words echoed rather uselessly in her head. "It would seem that way, wouldn't." She said simply. Why had she stayed again? She didn't need to explain why she was leaving to him. He didn't care anyway. She could tell by his words.

When he said he hoped she was happy her eyes flickered back a moment, but then quickly glazed over. "I will be. As long as my people are happy I am too." She didn't understand why her voice sounded so sad. Why she felt so upset that she was leaving. Why she regretted it so much. Why she was angry that she was only happy when her people were. Why did she only get to share in their happiness but never get her own?

'Because Amadeus is too distant' She was surprised to have thought that. What was that about? She didn't know so she pushed it aside. She stood up and walked over, holding her hand out to Amadeus. "Thank you, Amadeus. Thank you for taking care of me while I was ... hindered. I appreciate it. Your clan will be kept a secret, but should you ever need help... the vampires will readily aide you."

The rigidity of her muscles practically screamed 'If you ever need me, I'm here. If you ever want me, just come take me.' However, her mouth didn't say those words. Wouldn't, couldn't. She glanced away and then turned, grabbing a black cloak from the peg on the wall. "Alright then... I'm leaving unless you have any further words or objections." Translation: 'Please tell me to stay.'

[Amadeus Marovich]

Amadeus noticed her change in appearance. It was frightening....especially her eyes. Had her memories taken such a toll on her? He really didn't like the look in her eyes. He loved the bright blue that shone brightly when she was teasing him or something interesting had happened. Why couldn't that stay at least? It made him think something bad was awaiting her at the vampire palace. Why did she have to leave?

He understood better than she could know how the happiness of her people would make her happy. But he knew that it was a huge burden as well, and that was only for a very small lycan pack. Perhaps the burden was simply too great...an entire vampire kingdom for one vampiress. Did that have something to do with the look in her eyes? It made him angry for some reason. That was an excuse to force her to stay right? No...not right. It was her choice.

He stood up as she held out her hand, out of politeness of course, but also as a way to get a good look at her face again. He didn't try to hide his sad expression. He took her hand firmly and nodded in thanks. That was all he was asking of her....although he wanted to ask her to stay....with him. Shut up you selfish mutt he yelled at himself. He was glad she volunteered to help if he needed it. Although he doubted he would, it made him feel as though she was not relinquishing all contact.

He perfectly understood what she meant by any objections. He could even read in her mind that she wanted him to stop her....and boy did he want to. "If you ever...want to" he wasn't sure how to word it "You're always welcome on the island, Arkile. We will always want you here." of course, he was indirectly saying that he wanted her here, but he couldn't very well admit to that...not to her...not even to himself.

[Arkile Sernagova]

Arkile wanted to sigh as Amadeus took her hand and looked sad. Was it sad? She couldn't really tell. It was like her memories put up a person-proof barrier. She was struggling to stay attached to the world enough to register what was going on. She vaguely remembered detaching herself before, so much sometimes that she just glided through the day without knowing a thing that was going on around her.

He said she was always welcome on the island, that the clan would always want her there. Did that include him? Personally? No. He didn't care. He was just being polite. She hated a momentary feeling she had that had her wanting to cry. She pulled her hand back and nodded. "Thank you again." With that she pulled the cloak on and headed out the door.

He hadn't asked her to stay. He said she was welcome, but he didn't actually ask her to stay. So she was right all along. He didn't want her around. It was just a game, something to pass the time, or him being polite because the clan didn't mind her. She hung her head low as she walked down the tunnel to the mainland and tugged her hood up. She exited the lycan territory and started for the Vampire kingdom in silence.